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In Say What You Mean, Oren Jay Sofer offers a unique and pragmatic approach to deepening and improving relationships by transforming our patterns of speaking and listening. With a step-by-step approach for lasting changes in our fundamental orientation to communication, Oren brings a clear, new voice to the world of interpersonal communication. Learn to:

  • Feel confident during conversation

  • Stay focused on what really matters in an interaction

  • Listen for the authentic concerns behind what others say

  • Reduce anxiety before and during difficult conversations

  • Find nourishment in day-to-day interactions

“I'm a therapist who works with families and am constantly thinking about and working on my own ability to communicate. No other book I've read has helped me with this as much as this book has.”

“Inspiring, engaging and practical.”

“This book stands out above and beyond all the other communication books I have read. I highly recommend it to anyone.”

Mindful Communication Trainings:

Talks on Mindful Communication

Mindful Communication Articles
How to Navigate Holiday Conversations with Family
How to Navigate Holiday Conversations with Family

Practical strategies for navigating holiday conversations with clarity, skill, and love.

How to Handle 'Predatory Listening'
How to Handle 'Predatory Listening'

Predatory listening can take many forms: listening with a narrow focus to find fault or confront someone; lying in wait for something to be offended by; deliberately trying to catch someone out; or listening only to gather evidence for a rebuttal.

Every Voice Matters: Stability through Diversity
Every Voice Matters: Stability through Diversity

Participatory democracy means creating space for every voice to be heard.

Communication During COVID-19
Communication During COVID-19

Whether our conversations are in real life or on the internet, it can be hard to know the right thing to say right now. Mindful communication teacher Oren Jay Sofer shares his advice. 

How I Continue to Mess Up Being an Ally
How I Continue to Mess Up Being an Ally

Systemic racism and white supremacy are in you, in me, and in all of us. Here are some reflections on putting our meditation practice into action where it counts.

10 Things White People Can Do to Work for Racial Justice
10 Things White People Can Do to Work for Racial Justice

If you’re feeling stuck, here are ten things you can do to stand for justice, show solidarity, and take action to stop white- and state-sanctioned violence.

Teaching Mindfulness to Adolescents
Teaching Mindfulness to Adolescents

An excerpt on the role of empathy in education from Oren’s book Teaching Mindfulness to Empower Adolescents.

Four Questions to Ask Yourself before Important Conversations
Four Questions to Ask Yourself before Important Conversations

There is a saying in many spiritual traditions, “Only speak if you can improve upon the silence.” There’s also a time and a place to speak up.

Five Tips for Reading the News without Losing It
Five Tips for Reading the News without Losing It

In an age of online connection, record numbers feel depressed and alienated. How can we bring more sanity to our news consumption?

The Radical Act of Reclaiming Attention
The Radical Act of Reclaiming Attention

In a world where attention is a commodity, reclaiming your attention is a radical act of self-empowerment. Here are three ways you can train your attention.