How to Soothe Anxiety

Anxiety seems to be woven into the fabric of modern society. It’s one of the most common forms of mental and emotional distress and the number one mental health concern people face around the globe. Here in the United States alone, 40 million adults suffer from anxiety each year; that’s nearly 1 out of every 5 people over the age of 18. 

In other words, if you’re feeling anxious, you’re not alone.

There’s almost always something we can get anxious about: mountains of to-do’s, stressful relationships with people who push our buttons, the ordinary stress of life. Whether it’s work, family, politics, inequality, racism and oppression, or the environment, whether it’s general anxiety, performance anxiety, or the increased prevalence of teen anxiety—anxiety is everywhere. 

We can get so used to being anxious that it can feel like we should be worrying about something even when we’re feeling okay!

Here’s the good news: relief is possible. I suffered from anxiety for years as a teenager into my twenties. Through the tools of meditation, we can understand anxiety, work to transform its causes, and learn tools to mitigate its effects personally, physiologically, and socially.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome (Oxford). While fear involves an imminent threat, anxiety is often more amorphous and related to a vague and distant future. 

Anxiety takes many different forms—mild worry, restlessness, anxiety attacks, low grade panic, social anxiety, specific phobias. Subjectively, we experience anxiety as an unpleasant state of distress ranging from mild uncertainty to panic.

Anxiety can manifest both psychologically and physically, with a wide range of symptoms: nervousness, restlessness, dread, fear, racing thoughts, rapid heart rate, trembling, sweating, chest pains, cramps, GI distress, difficulty focusing, to mention a few.

Without some form of treatment, anxiety can become chronic, taking a toll on our quality of life, leading to depression and even compromising our physical health.

What causes anxiety?

Anxiety is a completely normal, natural, human emotion. It’s connected to our nervous system’s innate “flight” response—part of our basic hard-wiring for safety. At its root, it’s there to protect us and to help us meet a challenge.

Anxiety is usually triggered by a stressful external event—a conversation, a piece of news, an upcoming event. However, that external event quickly begins to stimulate thoughts. We then begin reacting to the thoughts with more anxiety, and the two begin to feed each other in a vicious cycle.

Over time, this cycle between thought and emotion can develop into a habitual pattern. You may find yourself feeling anxiety without even knowing what you’re anxious about. It’s as if the feeling is looking for something to get anxious about. The emotional and psychological energy of anxiety has become so familiar that your mind begins to go there by default even without an explicit reason.

Can mindfulness meditation help anxiety?

While there are many forms of therapy, pharmaceutical medications and herbal remedies that can help treat anxiety, most anxiety can benefit from some simple, accessible practices of mental training.

Mindfulness meditation provides a range of tools to ease and soothe anxiety—or at least prevent it from snowballing out of control. Personally, over the years of practice, meditation has helped me not only to manage my anxiety, but to shift the underlying mental and emotional patterns that create it in the first place. 

Here are five ways to use meditation to soothe anxiety.

1. Label the feeling.

Naming an emotion is the first step in being mindful of it. This activates our prefrontal cortex and can begin to bring more balance and self-regulation by creating a relationship with the experience. As soon as you notice that you are beginning to feel anxious, try to pause for a moment. Label the emotion, saying silently to yourself, “This is anxiety.” 

As you label it, see if you can bring some understanding to bear on the experience. It’s just an unpleasant feeling, and it’s temporary. It wasn’t here before, and won’t last forever. The more you can see feelings for what they are—waves of sensation passing through—the less caught up you will get.

2. Feel your breathing.

Our breath is a bridge between the body and mind, and can help to calm and regulate our nervous system. When we are distressed, anxious, or upset, our breathing changes, becoming more rapid, shallow, or tight.

To soothe anxiety, try taking a few slow, deep breaths. Focus all of your attention on breathing out long and slow through your mouth. As you exhale, notice any feelings of ease, relaxation or settling, however subtle. Then let your breathing return to normal, continuing to give more attention to the outbreath. With each outbreath, imagine any sensations of anxiety or tension in your body could slowly dissolve and melt away.

3. Notice how you are relating.

How we relate to anxiety can make it worse, increasing our agitation and distress, or allow it to subside. As you breathe, notice how you are relating to your thoughts and emotional sensations of anxiety. 

Are you afraid of the anxiety? Do you want it to go away? Are you feeling consumed by it? Do you judge yourself for feeling it? “Why I am I feeling anxious? There must be something wrong with me…”

Acknowledge whatever reaction you notice. Instead of trying to fight it, fix it or change it, see if you can bring a kind and balanced awareness to your experience. You could even name or label the reaction: “Resistance. Worrying.” Can you find any degree of softening or acceptance?

4. Drop the story, feel the body.

As we’ve noted, anxiety is often driven by the thoughts and stories we tell ourselves.

See if you can put down the narrative and feel the sensations of anxiety in your body for a few moments. What is this experience you are calling anxiety? Where do you notice it? Is it in your chest, your throat, your belly? In your arms or legs? All over?

And how does it feel there? Is it tight, contracted, jittery? Does it feel like something pressing on you, pushing or squeezing? When you resist an emotion or sensation, the very action of resisting imprints it on your mind and perpetuates it. Slowing down and giving yourself the space to feel it in your body allows the energy of the anxiety to dissipate on its own.

5. Bring compassion and kindness.

It’s uncomfortable to be anxious. None of us like it. But that doesn’t mean we have to suffer over it—it’s just unpleasant. 

Inviting a quality of compassion and tenderness towards yourself can go a long way to bringing relief and perspective. How might you relate to a friend who is feeling anxious? Can you offer that same sense of warmth and care to yourself? Sometimes a few words of quiet reassurance can help, “It’s okay, this will pass.”

Over time as you work with these different tools you will feel more space inside, more resilience, and an increased capacity to tolerate the discomfort of anxiety. The more you study and observe anxiety like a curious visitor, the more you will understand its nature: it’s a natural, human emotion. It’s not personal and it won’t last forever. The more you understand it, the more wisely you will relate to it and the less it will disturb you.