A groundbreaking synthesis of mindfulness, somatics and Nonviolent Communication
Simple yet powerful practices to develop healthy, effective, and more satisfying ways of communicating
how to find your voice, speak your truth and listen deeply
We spend so much of our lives talking to each other, but how much are we simply running on automatic—relying on old habits and hoping for the best? Are we able to truly hear others and speak our mind in a clear and kind way, without needing to get defensive or go on the attack?
The techniques in Say What You Mean will help you to:
Feel confident during conversation
Stay focused on what really matters in an interaction
Listen for the authentic concerns behind what others say
Reduce anxiety before and during difficult conversations
Find nourishment in day-to-day interactions
“With clarity and great insight, Oren Jay Sofer offers teachings and practices that train us to speak and listen with presence, courage and an open heart.
— Tara Brach, author of True Refuge and Radical Acceptance
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“This tremendous book addresses one of the biggest challenges in any relationship: how to combine heart with strength, compassion with assertiveness.
If I had just one book to recommend about interpersonal communication, it would be this one.”
— Rick Hanson, PhD author of Hardwiring Happiness
Oren brings a clear, new voice to interpersonal communication.
“In Say What You Mean, Oren Jay Sofer offers us a brilliant intertwining of focused presence and artful engagement. Our work, family, and any other relationships will benefit from his guidance.”
Daniel Goleman
Author of Emotional Intelligence and Altered Traits
“Sofer deftly weaves together his mindfulness practice and principles of Nonviolent Communication to help us learn how to find one another again. This is a powerful guidebook to thinking, speaking and listening with authenticity and care. Bravo!”
Sharon Salzberg
Author of Real Love and Real Happiness
“Oren Jay Sofer's eloquent book goes beyond the surface level of communication. He describes our relational journey . . . and how to fully live this complex life. Sofer gives us essential frameworks, perspectives, and skills for our shared humanity.”
Larry Yang
Author of Awakening Together
“Meeting the enormous challenges of our times calls for an integration of inner practices of mindfulness with outer practices of communicating with honesty, vulnerability, strength, care and empathy. Oren Jay Sofer shows us a way to do just that in his book Say What You Mean.”
Miki Kashtan
CNVC Certified Trainer and Author
“Words have tremendous power—both to harm, and to heal. Oren shares a process for communicating with mindfulness, clarity, and compassion, and creating more connection and understanding in our relationships. In these times of turbulence and conflict, we need this more than ever before.”
Chris Kresser
Author of The Paleo Cure and Unconventional Medicine
“Full of practical exercises that develop powerful communication and mindfulness skills, this timely and engaging book shows us how caring, curiosity and connection can transform people's lives, even in the face of aggression.”
Susan Kaiser-Greenland
Author of Mindful Games and The Mindful Child
“Say What You Mean is a helpful guide for speaking wisely and with love. It offers terrific tools and understandings that are critical to the art of communicating clearly and from the heart.”
— Jack Kornfield, author of The Wise Heart and No Time Like The Present